Monday, December 31, 2007

What Would *You* Sing For Simon?

So I was doing my yoga today, like I do (almost) every day, and American Idol: Rewind was on in the background.

It made me think, like it does every time I happen to catch it (while doing the dishes or folding clothes): given the chance, what would I sing in front of Simon Cowell?

I'm not a bad singer. I've got a BA in music, so I know a bit about pitch, tone, and rhythm. But the question stymies me, every time. What song could I sing that would be good enough to impress Simon?

Or, rephrased: what song could I sing that would make me sound like an American Idol?

That, after all, seems to be the thing that trips up 50% of the contestants. (The other 45% can't match pitch, and the remaining 5% get picked for the show.)

If I were going to pick something that I could sing well, under pressure, I might choose "Not a Day Goes By" or something from the Cole Porter oeuvre. But one does not become an American Idol by singing showtunes.

So it would have to be a... sigh... popular song.

Madonna? Christina? Britney?

Couldn't I become the first American Idol to win by singing "Jam Tomorrow, Jam Yesterday?"

In the end I'd probably pick something like Jewel's "You Were Meant For Me" or Anna Nalick's "Breathe (2 a.m.)," though neither of those seem like they would inspire American idolatry.

Or I could channel my inner nerd (inner? what inner?) and sing Jason Mraz's "Wordplay." With the combination of sexy glasses and articulate diction, I might be able to garner the xkcd demographic vote.

Sigh. Josh Cohen had it easy.

What would *you* sing for Simon?



Editor's Note: If Blue doesn't ever actually look at the TV, it means she can truthfully say that she doesn't watch American Idol: Rewind. Which, of course, she doesn't.

5 comments:

Daniel said...

not a day goes by would be so pretty to hear on american idol...

You should sing that! :-p

I, on the other hand, would have to sing something like old man river or johanna because I shouldn't be singing in my upper register (or at least that's what "a" aka jayd has said.)

Blue said...

Oh, wow.

Jayd.

Thanks for the memories!

(I could sing that for Simon, too. Although Bob Hope sings it better.)

Blue said...

Oh, and I assume by "Johanna" you mean Judge Turpin's version.

Complete with flagellation.

(Why didn't we get to see Alan Rickman do that song????)

Daniel said...

LOL, of course I meant Judge Turpin's version...

Bob Hope sings "not a day goes by"? WTF, mate?

Jayd. I wonder what zhe's up to now.

Blue said...

Bob Hope sings "Thanks for the Memories." ^__^