Thursday, December 13, 2007

To Thambi

To Thambi, who is also "Name" (of course I track ISPs), and who has now adopted two different identities (with the same hidden Blogger profile) to leave me notes on the blog:

Thanks for the link. I remember reading that article two years ago, but it was nice to be reminded of it again.

I wanted to respond to your comment because I respect where you are coming from, and although I don't think I'm doing what you are accusing me of doing, it's clear that we are misreading each other, which I think is unfortunate.

So. (Enters storytelling mode.)

I have worn a bindi. Twice.

The first was the night Tempest opened, in Hyderabad. My students insisted I wear one.

"I'm not Hindu," I said. "And I'm not married. I don't think it's appropriate for me to borrow a symbol like that."

They disagreed, explaining that "you can't wear a sari without a bindi!"

So I let them put one on my forehead.

The other time I wore a bindi was in Bangalore, and as before it was suggested and offered by my host, before going to visit nearby families and their Kolu.

Although I have received a few colorful, glittery bindi packets as gifts when making clothing purchases, I don't wear them. I certainly wouldn't wear them on my navel. I've always recognized the bindi as a religious signifier, even as its meaning has altered.

But the salwar is different. It isn't a religious symbol, as far as I understand. It's a form of clothing that has, in fact, already passed through the hands of a few different cultural groups before it ended up on a hanger in my closet.

I know that people think I don't have a right to be interested in India, or in Indian culture; that I am "Bollywoodizing" India (to which I respond "no, I'm Bollywoodizing Bollywood, which -- you have to admit -- encourages that kind of behavior"), or that I am operating from a colonial mindset.

The first part I disagree with, the middle part I know isn't true (India isn't all Bollywood and yoga, and I didn't think it was before the trip, either), and the last part is something that I have consciously tried to address and avoid.

What I don't understand is why you tell me I am presenting myself as an "expert" or "ambassador" of Indian culture. This blog was started in a spirit of questioning, which has continued throughout my travelogue.

It was started -- if you go back to my very first posts -- because I didn't feel comfortable cluttering up the SepiaMutiny comment boards with my questions (and... um... whiteness), and so I started a blog of my own where I could try to puzzle through what I didn't understand.

(Now, interestingly, my blog has in fact been cited on SepiaMutiny, as well as Ultrabrown, and no fewer than six times on DesiPundit.)

I never meant to present India to anyone else, or to (re)define it by my standards. All I tried to do with this blog was to tell stories about my experiences, and to ask questions to help me understand what I was experiencing.

Now that I am no longer traveling, I'm not quite sure what to do with the blog. ^__^ Now is the time where writing "about India" seems presumptuous, and although there is a place for a post about Saawariya because it has to do with something that was recently posted on Ultrabrown, I feel like I ought to redefine my writing focus so that this blog becomes... about a job search? about my personal musings? about OMG-they're-adapting-Ballet-Shoes?!

Anyway. Thambi, I'm sorry that you are offended by what I am writing. I'm not going to stop blogging, though. I make mistakes sometimes, and make stupid assumptions sometimes, and correct them when they are pointed out to me. But I have never presented myself as an expert or ambassador. This blog is always, and has always been, about promoting understanding through question and discussion -- not only understanding of a semester in India, but also of theatre, education, economics, literature, etc.

And that's all I'm going to write about that.

91 comments:

Unknown said...

damn right!

Anonymous said...

Blue,

Dont let the odd ill-mannered troll spoil the blog. Have been a regular reader of your blog and have enjoyed your narrations! Your travelogue has been thoroghly enjoyable till date! Though I dont dig SRK, I enjoyed your Chak De posts! I find your fascination for Bollywood funny, to say the least! I truly enjoy your writing and want to wish you the best!

Srini

Srini

Space Bar said...

Good god! Please ignore trolls. And don't move the blog! There's been enough threats and nastiness in the Indian Blog world recently.

Anonymous said...

Damn trolls, Blue you don't need to justify anything to a troll it will only encourage them. Look at the positive side, so many of Indians like your blog, don't let the odd nut case bother you.
To tell you a secret, in India even the exceptions run into millions so it might look like a lot of Indian bigots out there in blogosphere, but in reality they are a verrry small minority. :D

Anonymous said...

I find your position needlessly defensive.

To you Thambi - http://sharathrao.wordpress.com/2007/12/13/culture-as-competition-not-legislation/

Fairfield County CT said...

Ever since I found you by way of Sepia Mutiny, I have been impressed with your (as I put it in another comment) "spirit of adventure." Do ignore the rants of people like Thambi. Don't let people like him get in your way as you explore new avenues in the world and discover new aspects of your own personality.

ctrlalteredmind said...

exactly, like everyone above me said. I have always taken great pride in our country's secular and tolerant outlook (yes, I know there is a significant percentage of people who don't adhere to that, but still.. ). and such people just leave this horrid aftertaste.

Like they said here on the interwebs, don't feed the trolls! :)

Anonymous said...

Blue,

as said before - you don't come across as appropriating Indian culture (Whatever that might be!) and I for one really enjoy your writing.

Which reminds me, you haven't done a cooking post in a while....no time to cook?

Bitterlemons

Blue said...

Bitterlemons -- time to cook, yes. New recipes, no. Been doing the tried-and-true. Also no longer have the digital camera to take pics.

Everyone else -- THANK YOU and HUGS and READ SHARATH RAO'S RESPONSE!

http://sharathrao.wordpress.com/2007/12/13/culture-as-competition-not-legislation/

Sirensongs: Indologist At Large said...

Wear what you want. No one asks our permission before wearing Levi's 501s. They are a symbol of all American culture holds dear, and yet...! Ah, the blasphemy!

The auntie at my idly hotel gets upset if I don't wear my bindi. "Where is tikka?" I certainly wouldn't want to disappoint AmmaGaru. Her opinion means a lot more to me than that of a common troll.

I suppose your troll also believes I should not wear bindi in Bharatanatyam class, let alone performance.

I've been reading yr blog from the start and you have never tried to present yourself as any kind of expert or ambassador. (I, on the other hand, am an expert and am willing to defend that position.)

Anon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

"First of all, I'm not a troll. I'm a professional writer, and an Indian-American with a degree in South Asian studies. You might not like what I have to say, but that doesn't mean it isn't coming from somewhere legitimate."


Blue, more than likely this is that idiot Bidismoker/Gautam who used to post on Sepia Mutiny frequently before beging repeatedly banned for being, you guessed it, an asshole. You can tell because he always mentions that he's a writer even though his writing really sucks. The giant chip on his shoulder is caused by the fact that his sister was converted to Christianity. He now hates all white people. He's never been able to get over it.

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