Sunday, January 13, 2008

Lucca Vs. Marle: The Dating Stages of Girl Gamers

Samrat Sharma just wrote a post about the four stages of dating a gamer:

Level two, which comes about very soon to fairly early, depending on the season (Christmas deluge plays weird murder games in the relationship) is marked by resigned acceptance. Go on then, she thinks, play your stupid games. At least I know where you are at all times. At least you’re not eyeing my best friend, or shagging someone on the side.

Probably true, if the lady involved is not a gamer herself. But what if she is?

Stage One: Wow. There's A Girl Who Likes The Same Stuff I Like!

This is the stage in which the girl (not yet a girlfriend) reveals that she is a gamer. She often becomes a girlfriend by virtue of that revelation alone. I once got a date by using the pickup line "so, how many of Shadow's dreams did you get?"

Stage Two: Where We Play So Many Video Games We Forget To Make Out

Title's self-explanatory. The relationship starts out with about a 50:50 "games vs. nookie" ratio, but after about a month turns into around 90:10. Sure, there's the casual, friendly kiss when you walk in the door, but then you get handed a controller and all your energy's devoted on making sure Pikachu beats Link.

Stage Three: Enter the Tall, Blonde, Hot, Non-Gamer Girl

See, what happens is that by becoming your guy's gamer buddy, you fall into the role of the "smart, mechanical girl." And we all know what happens to that girl. Chrono dumps Lucca for Marle, Cloud dumps Tifa for Aeris, and your guy will soon dump you for the tall, leggy blonde who has no idea how to beat him at Mario Kart 64 and thinks that his little video game habit is "so cute!"

The guy will offer you his friendship, as a consolation prize, and also because he needs someone to play games with. This will end, however, as soon as the new girlfriend gets jealous (which is pretty soon).

But, if Samrat's post is right, all of the Luccas of the world can smile vindictively knowing that Marle is going to leave Chrono for an i-banker. ^__^ (Unless, of course, Chrono uses Samrat's "cheat code.")


Indianoguy said...

Hmmm..Interesting analysis!
So, what stage are you at ;-)

Blue said...

Haven't yet entered a new game cartridge. ^__^

BTW -- do you know what's really sad? Lucca even gets dumped by Robo. And she ends up making a home for orphans in Chrono Cross, all alone.

Serioussam said...

Ah, BUT!

I did end up using the cheat code on a girl gamer. So, in this case, Cloud did indeed get Tifa (or the other way around). Maybe that's why it worked, I dunno.

about Cloud and Aeris though: doesn't it secretly gladden you that she gets it? Tell me the truth now.